For the record.

Matt Bauer · April 20, 2026

Kurt, Mike, Grayson, Marshall.

Yesterday I got this voicemail from Marshall:

"Hey man, it's Marshall. Um, here's the deal, dude. Uh, me and the guys have been talking and we, uh, we're not really happy with, uh, what happened on Friday. I get it. You had to, we get it. You had to prioritize your daughter and your family. I didn't want to be too far away, but, um, we just need, we just need some, uh, some consistency. Like we're playing 5 times this week and if, if we can't count on that, man, I don't think that we're, is going to be a good fit long term. So, um, so I think we're gonna have to let you go. Um, feel free to, uh, keep up or let me know. Uh, if you need anything, but I think we're gonna rock a 4 piece from now on. Um, and try to get tight with that. So. Uh, yeah, man, talk at you later."

Not going to respond to that voicemail with another voicemail. Please read the whole thing. I have a message for each of you.

At our last band practice, we agreed Hunter would be a fill-in for gigs I couldn't make, not a replacement. Marshall said at that meeting we were contracted with Gillies as a band through end of May. I offered every-other Wednesday on my five-day Holly stretches, and said I'd keep being upfront and as far ahead as I could about anything I couldn't make. That's the plan we landed on when we wrapped up.

When the band parted ways with Danny, I told Marshall to his face that I never wanted to be treated the way Danny was treated. A phone call. A side group chat I wasn't part of. Marshall agreed. The voicemail above was a phone call, and in it Marshall literally said "me and the guys have been talking." If we're a band, why didn't that conversation happen in a group chat with me in it? Why did it have to be in secrecy, like tribe council? Are we a tribe or aren't we? That's the exact thing I asked not to be on the receiving end of.

The word in the voicemail is consistency. Everyone in this band has things the band works around. Kurt has date nights with his wife, which he should, and which is a big part of why they've been together as long as they have. Mike plays in other bands most nights we're not playing. Grayson is 19 and in school, legally out of bar gigs for two more years, with a Tuesday radio show we accommodated at our last meeting without blinking. None of that is a problem. The band works around all of it, and should. My weekends with my daughter are apparently the one thing that isn't working-around-able. That's the inconsistency.

My weekends with my daughter aren't a surprise, they aren't last minute, and they haven't changed since day one. On the calendar weeks out. I have not canceled a single rehearsal. Every scheduling conflict I've had was flagged in advance as much as possible. I was even planning to play tonight and drive straight to Kansas City afterward to be at my actual job at 8 a.m. tomorrow morning. I'm not going down with a narrative that isn't true.

Caldwell was one cancel. I flagged it at 2pm for an 8pm gig with tornado warnings running right through the drive corridor. It wasn't a decision I took lightly at all, and I was clear about that when I sent it. Marshall's reply that afternoon was "Thanks for letting us know. Stay safe Matt." Two days later the same cancel is being used as the reason I'm out. I'd make that same call again. Driving an hour through a tornado corridor at 1 in the morning to get home to my kid isn't a reliability question.

No one else in this band has the same liabilities I do. From the beginning I've asked for consideration of that, and I was assured that was the case. The second we got a taste of success, that consideration went right out the fucking window.

In case anyone wants full context on what I'm already working with outside the band: Holly is level 3 autistic. She's seven. She's not potty trained, can't dress herself, isn't conversational, and can barely tell me what she needs. She needs full-time hands-on care. Marshall has said "we all have things going on," and that's true. Everyone does. That's precisely why accommodation was part of the deal from the start. Honoring that on the next one would go a long way.

One specific moment worth putting on the record. When the Hunter plan first came up, Marshall opened the conversation by saying his girlfriend hated the idea of us playing more gigs than we already were. Kurt said BJ hated the idea too. I said Tash hated the idea too. Then Marshall said, "I'm doing it anyway." Kurt said, "I'm doing it anyway." I couldn't say that. My eyes can't be bigger than my stomach. The goalposts moved that night, from a couple gigs a month to five nights a week. Two of you were in a position to override your partners' concerns. I wasn't, and I was upfront about that in the room. That's not unreliability. That's the goalposts changing. Just say that. Don't brand me unreliable for being the only one who couldn't match the new number.

This band has cost me time with my wife and with my daughter. Tash and I have worked through that tension more times than I can count, because this band was the one thing in my life that wasn't work, wasn't full-time dad duty, and wasn't sleep. I put my eggs in this basket. Not just the music. The friendships too. That was the whole deal.

One more thing, and only because the framing here is reliability. Back in February, Marshall told me Local Flavor had canceled our duo gig. I called the venue to ask what happened. The story was not what he had told me. Here is the timeline, from my own texts and the recording below.

Here is the 71-second call with the venue. This is me finding out. Their answer is on tape.

Call with Local Flavor · Feb 11, 5:56pm

That move should have gotten Marshall ousted from the band right there. Faking a death in a family member to skip a gig isn't a scheduling issue. It's a trust issue. Six hours notice in a tornado warning with tennis-ball hail on the radar, to get home to a seven-year-old who was already scared, is the opposite. One of those is a reason to lose the band. The other is a reason to be in one.

A good band with scheduling restrictions doesn't cut off its own leg to play five nights a week. A good band plays when it can and the venue works around it. That's how it goes when the band is actually good. We got here as a four-piece. Me, Marshall, Kurt, Mike. That was the recipe. The ingredient being swapped out is me, not anyone new. Most of you already play in other bands together. What made this one feel different, to crowds and to me, was the full lineup with a voice out front. Pulling that piece doesn't upgrade anything. Marshall, you've said yourself more than once that you're not a frontman. Grayson isn't either. Every band needs one. That's not an insult, that's mechanics.

I know I've come off as a diva at points. Wanting the majority of songs. Pushing back on the direction after Grayson joined. Fine. Maybe I am a bit of a diva. I've also been performing music longer than Marshall has been alive. That's not hubris, that's the math. I've earned the right not to play five nights a week. I've earned the right to set boundaries on my own time. And I've earned the right not to have a band I helped build pulled out from under me for holding those boundaries.

Here is what bothers me most. This is a founding-member band. Me, Marshall, Kurt, and Mike got this off the ground as a four-piece. Almost a year of real friendships, inside jokes, late nights, gigs, texts, and harmonies we were still working out at our last practice. Every time Marshall put himself down, his mic level, his bass playing, his doubts about fronting, I pushed back on it. Every single time. I'm not asking for credit. I'm naming it because the person in that voicemail doesn't square with the person I was encouraging.

Marshall, I told you directly I wasn't okay with my share of songs getting cut in half when Grayson joined. You heard me. You did nothing. Then you put me in timeout on stage because I use an iPad, something I've done my whole musical career. We got here with the four of us. The second the calendar filled up, the bandleader became a band dictator. I don't remember taking a vote on that.

This didn't start on Friday. The first time I told you I couldn't do one of the early Gillies gigs, you called me asking if there was any way I could make it work. You said it was "our shot" at Gillies regularly. You were telling me in that moment how important I was. From the day I couldn't swing that one gig, I've been treated as expendable. That's not a reliability problem. That's a slow punishment for one miss.

Kurt. I'm tearing up writing this (and again as I proofread it). You have been a dream to play with. The first time I ever shared a stage with you I was the drummer, and Henry eventually pushed me out of that one. Almost a year ago I finally got to play AND sing with you in the same band, and every single time I threw you a lead, a vocal, anything, it was electric. You were hilarious on stage. The Boomhauer moments alone were worth every gig. You've also always been considerate of my family situation, from the beginning. That's why I have a hard time believing this is where you actually stand. I truly hope this isn't what you wanted.

BJ, I know you'll read this too, and I'm tearing up again as I write it. You have been like a mom to me in this scene, and I mean that. At our last Shenanigans gig you caught me off guard. You came up to me and said, "Hey Matt, I really hope you decide to stay in the band." I didn't understand at the time that me leaving was even on the table. I had never considered it. I'm thinking about that moment differently now. You were telling me something I wasn't ready to hear yet. I'm asking you the same question back. Where do you actually stand on this? If this isn't what you wanted either, I want to know.

Mike, you joined us a few months back after we ran through a couple undependable drummers. You are incredibly solid, in the pocket, by the book, always learning. Everything a guy could want in a drummer. And for the record, your beard looks great at any length.

Grayson, you're 19 and one of the most naturally gifted musicians I've played with. I've told you to your face you're going to be anything you want to be in five years, and I meant it. I'm in awe of what you can pick up. You're also fairly modest about it, which is what keeps the talent clean. Keep that.

I record our gigs and practices. Always have. On February 16, at the band meeting right after Marshall apologized to me privately for the Local Flavor lie, you told the room what you'd said to Marshall. Quoting you directly:

"I told Marshall, 'Man, now I want everything. I want this back through, you know, I want to integrate it. But now I got a little taste of it. I am a little greedy. And I am like, but we also have this new thing. We have this brand new thing where there doesn't need to be a front man.'"

You also said, about walking into that conversation: "I don't want to come in here and step on toes. I just want to say how I am looking from, well, a new perspective." I took that at the time as a polite preemptive apology. In hindsight, the reason you had it ready was because the conversation about me not being in this band had already started between you and Marshall.

You also framed the changes that night as you "trying to build me into the sets." You meant well. I want to be honest about how it landed, because it matters. You can't build me into something I was already the foundation of. I was there first. I helped define what those sets even are. The framing of "building me in" to something I was already the core of is what the whole shift has felt like from the inside. I don't hold that against you at 19. I hold it against the guy guiding a 19-year-old into that conversation.

Here is what that moment makes clear. This was never about consistency. If Kurt had to cancel a gig, it would have been fine. If Mike had a conflict, it would have been fine. If Grayson did, it would have been fine. I cancel one gig with six hours notice in a tornado warning to get home to a scared seven-year-old, and I'm out. That's not a reliability problem. That's a targeting problem.

If any of you ever want to play in a band with me, in a project that doesn't sell its members out for notoriety, let's fucking do it.

One thing worth naming about how I've been informed. Every piece of communication I've had about the band's direction, the new plan, what the guys were thinking, has come to me through Marshall. I've had no direct conversation with any of you about any of this. I've been trusting Marshall's version of what the rest of you want. After the Local Flavor thing, I don't have a reason to trust his version. He lied in a one-minute text reply and only admitted the truth when I put the receipt in his hand. The reason I even know there have been backroom conversations is that Grayson mentioned them in the room on February 16. Otherwise I'd still be taking Marshall's word that everyone was on the same page. That means there's a version of this where Kurt, Mike, Grayson, and BJ have been getting Marshall's version of what I want, too. I don't know what any of you have been told about me. I'd like to find out.

One thing I'll own. After the Local Flavor thing, I trusted Marshall when he said he'd handled it on his end. I've been quiet about it ever since. That's on me.

I can count on one hand the number of real guy friends I've had in my life. This band, and this friendship, was one of them. That's the part that actually costs something.

Marshall, I was a completely different person at 26. I get it. The second the Gillies gig hit, something shifted in you. Dollar signs. The fame-in-the-eyes look. I've seen it before. That part is 26. It doesn't define you.

What you've done since is what defines you now. The side group chat. The unilateral calls. The slow push to cut me out while pretending to keep me in. That's disregard for the band. That's disrespect for the guys who built it with you. And that's selfish.

The one thing I'd want you to sit with is what it feels like to come second, every time, to something bigger than yourself. Not a gig. A person. My daughter. That's my life. Every parent of a kid like Holly knows the shape of it. You will too someday.

Kurt, Mike, Grayson, BJ. No hard feelings with any of you. Wish you a good run.

Marshall, you did me dirty, bro. I'm not writing this to teach you anything. Life will handle that. I think you know.

Matt